More Dove Anti-Promises...

Dove Promises are morsels of wisdom printed on a candy wrapper that make you feel good. Especially if you're a woman with PMS. Try my Dove Anti-Promises page for more chocolate relief.

Oops, that came out wrong--Whoah! I can't seem to get this one right!

Moving on...
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Yes, you deserve a good screw. So find a handyman.

Go ahead, hit him--he deserves it.

Sharpen your teeth before bed. You'll sleep better.

Husbands really are overrated. Cut his brake lines.

Your boss is a bitch. So pee in her coffee.

You only live once--go screw the hot young landscaper.

Of course you deserve it. You have PMS now. Yes, you deserve it goddammit! GODDAMMMITTT!!!!

So what if you're on the rag--make him enjoy it.

Go ahead. Race your girlfriend to the bottom of the popcorn bag.